Maine is back and she is going to talk about something we have all dealt with at some point – getting a guy to commit. If this is you, you will want to read about the 10 things you can do while your sweetie pie warms those cold feet and takes the plunge!
Take it away Maine…
So he told you he’s head over heels for you but for some reasons he won’t fully commit. You’re left to wonder what’s holding him back, since it’s obvious that he wants you so bad.
It’s a confusing situation to be in and while it can be kind of tiring to wait for someone you love to actually make the first move, there are some guys we all know are worth waiting for. So if you think the man you’ve been with for ages is still worth it after all, here’s what you need to do.
10 Ways to Deal When He’s SO Afraid to Commit
Let him see what’s in it for him. It’s not enough to just tell him that you need his 100 percent unwavering commitment. You also need to give him a reason why doing so would be the best decision he can do for himself (aside from the fact that he’ll be the subject of envy of other men around him).
Stop trying. You’ve already expressed what you need him to do. You even gave him a good enough reason to do it. So don’t make him feel like he’s being coerced into doing something that he isn’t ready to do by badgering him about it over and over. Try some reverse psychology and let him see you’re not obsessing about it. You’ll be surprised how he’ll end up chasing you after.
Be vulnerable. Guys were naturally wired to hide their feelings. Thus, you can’t expect him to open up to you right away about what’s keeping him from committing and eventually putting a ring on your finger. So if you want him to tell you exactly how he feels like, you’d have to show your vulnerable side first. Just be realistic and be very patient though because this process doesn’t take overnight.
Don’t attempt to win him over. Don’t be so available for him that he’ll think you’re doing it only because you want him to commit, not because you really want to. When he senses that, he’ll retreat and resent you and it can destroy all the efforts you’ve already put into the relationship.
Don’t be a whiny bitch. Calling him out on his crap is far different from being a nagger. So since the goal is getting him to commit, the best thing to do is to call him out when necessary in the most loving way possible. When you’re not afraid to tell him such bad (or even worse) things, he’ll see you’re a treasure for only women who truly care will risk making hard decisions, if it will ultimately be for their significant other’s good.
Prioritize yourself. Find time to enjoy life outside of your relationship with him. Go out with your best girlfriends, visit your family, or travel alone. If you have a kid together, you can channel all your efforts into improving your parenting skills. This will make him see how you’re capable of a life without him, which will surely leave him wanting more of you.
Let him enjoy his life, too. Most guys are scared of commitment because they think it’s synonymous to the party being over. With that said, it’s important that you make him feel that it’s not going to be the case for him the moment he commits to you. Let him have his guy time either alone or with his buddies so he’ll see how he’ll still have his freedom and the space he’s used to having even after he takes it to the next level with you.
Take that new (and necessary) step in your relationship. If you still live in separate apartments, casually bring up the topic about moving in together. Let him see how you’re excited about the thought so he’ll feel that you’re ready to take things to the next level.
Meet him halfway. Just because he’s not ready to settle yet does it mean that you have to end things up with him? If you think he’s really worth it, wait around and see how things will turn out. You’ll never know if it’s just time that he needs before he finally decides to put a ring on your finger.
Never force feelings. You don’t want to force him into something he isn’t ready to sign up for. You don’t want to give him ultimatums either. He knows you want him so much in your life that you’ve waited and endured this long. If he really wants to be in yours, too, he has to fight so he can remain a part of it.
Over to You
This is one of many situations most of us may have dealt with or is dealing with currently. Whether you should stay or leave the relationship is a hard decision you’d eventually make so before you do so, be sure to exhaust all possible ways in making your man feel you’re the one. If it doesn’t make a move despite everything you’ve given, then maybe it’s time to move on. The best of luck in your relationship!
If you’re currently in this situation, I hope these ten ways to deal will be helpful and finally get your sweetie pie to commit. Is your guy having a hard time making a commitment? Tell us about it in the comments section below.