I am super excited to be introducing a very special lady and Not Now Mom’s Busy’s newest contributor Brenda of Just Like A Fine Wine. Today she’s going to talk to us about relationships and the challenges of saving a marriage after suffering a devasting blow. Don’t forget to check out Bren on her blog, Facebook and Twitter pages. Take it away B…
If you’ve ever been through a marital “disturbance” specifically one of the betrayal kind you know how difficult it is to regain one’s trust. To be in a marriage where honesty, loyalty, and devotion is supposed to be first and foremost and find out, your partner betrayed you is absolutely devastating.
If you can find the means to try and save the marriage, kudos to you! As you know it takes two (2) to work things out but how do you know you partner is not betraying you again? The trust is gone. Some love may be gone. What do you have left?
The will to save your marriage. but be sure to protect yourself from future harm.
It hits you. Your partner wants a divorce out of the blue. You never saw it coming or expected anything to be awry. The devastation consumes you for what seems to be an eternity. A few days later you find out that your partner wants to know if it’s too late to fix it? How do you answer? You were blown away by the news and then to find out he’s been emotionally involved with someone else is even more mortifying. How are you to trust that he really wants to be with you and not just “buying time” and scheming to check out at a later time?
You must go with your gut. It is up to you to decide if you want to give him that chance or say “forget it”.
[tweetthis]I Think He’s Trying To Make Me Believe I’m Crazy. #relationships[/tweetthis]
You Decide To Work It Out
Doubting your partner is a given. You will continue to snoop on his computer, his phone, and anything else you can get your hands onto. Your partner acts like everything is alright and any time you even question him/her, they make you feel like you are crazy for asking. You partner cannot believe you are doubting any of his/her actions and how dare you insinuate that he/she is acting devious again!
You start to think you are a bit paranoid but how couldn’t you? I mean you were blind-sided previously and didn’t know anything was wrong. You fear it could happen again so you are more cautious at looking for signs. Signs of him/her hiding things and being deceitful. When you question again, he/she becomes very defensive making you believe that not only that there is indeed something going on, but you are going crazy with worriment!
There Are Laws
Did you know in some states there is a law that grants divorces simply based on Insanity? Is this what my partner could be doing? By claiming I am insane, is that his easy way out? It will ease his conscious more to say he left me because I was mental ill versus saying he left me for his high school girlfriend, right?
You Can’t Think This Way
As part of healing in your relationship, you must get these thoughts out of your head. Yes, it will be hard so I suggest you write it down on a piece of paper and hide it in a drawer that isn’t frequented.
Still be conscious of your surroundings and if you must snoop, do so. How else are you going to ease your mind? If you are suspicious, find a tactful way of inquiring about the suspicion. Chances are he/she will get defensive again and claim (1) you don’t trust them (even though you have reason not to), and (2) why do you keep bringing up the past (cause that’s the only way to get past it).
Don’t let he/she make you think you are crazy for the emotions you are feeling. Remember, you have been sucker-punched in the gut before by this person and you fear it will happen again.
Over To You
Have you ever been made to feel like you are losing your mind? Please share with us below.